He Gets Me!

I am celebrating and honouring 30 years of marriage to man who has been patient, kind and loving, even in times when I was not patient, kind and loving with him. His life experiences were the same and yet so much different than mine. How does a couple come together and make this all happen? Living through the ups and downs of a relationship is trying at times, not to mention raising children.

Our first 15 years were bliss, loving each other and enjoying our life together in every possible way. We were busy raising our children and loving the experience and lessons we were gaining. Looking so forward to growing old together.

Then Herve became physically ill at work and was taken by ambulance to the hospital. He had experienced a herniated disc and required an operation. Shortly after he was diagnosed with RSD, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. A rare neurological disorder associated with severe pain. Our blissful life was coming to an end. This condition caused Herve to become depressed and it was the beginning of his addition to opioids. They changed his personality and he refused to even hold my hand. I was devastated.

After my near-death experience, I knew there was true healing and I wanted my husband to also experience that. I would demand, coerce, manipulate become angry in an attempt to convince him there was another way to live. He was having nothing to do with it.

After much coaching and a few thoughts of leaving the relationship I choose to have gratitude for my husband. I started to see, write and say all the things that were good, great and amazing about him. He took care of the children, he made meals, he kept the yard beautiful and even did wash. He still loved me, after all the things I said. Now that’s a tolerate and amazing man. To see the good in me/us even when I didn’t.

I realize that he gets me, and I didn’t even know it. He knows when I’m stressing about something. He even asks me to talk about it. Our life now has taken on a more graceful way of living together. We enjoy our time together, just us. Sharing most everything, from making meals, to doing house chores and yard work. To sitting around the firepit in our backyard and appreciating the life we have built together. We have found peace in this relationship and we are loving and respectful to each other once again.

I am so grateful for staying with this man. I have learned so much about me, him and relationships. I now know that each person has their own path to travel, and I am not one to tell anyone that my path is the only one to walk or experience.

When we walk side by side with someone, we are equals, experiencing the same thing in different ways. Our life lessons give us different perspectives of understanding what we see, hear, taste or touch.

It’s a joy when we are open to observing and curiosity of how others react or act in life. For it is in those moments we learn to live in peace and contentment.